Tag Archives: life

I’m Okay with Not Getting Married

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Back in February, I went home for my parents 50th birthday celebration.  While we were at the venue setting up, my father and I were talking about his eating habits and health.  He went on a rant about how he’s trying to overall live a healthier life as he wants to see his grandkids grow up and see me get married. It didn’t dawn on me until a couple of days later that my father is looking forward to seeing me get married, however I have come to the realization that I may not want to get married and I am okay with that.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against getting married and if I fall in love with a man who wants to eventually marry me, I’m open to it, but what I am saying is that, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t stress out about it, I won’t complain and be one of those women who’s always nagging about never getting married, but instead I’ll continue to live a long healthy life.  I think too often women get caught up in this life of, I’m supposed to go to college, graduate, get a job, find a man, get married and have kids and I don’t believe that.  I believe that I am supposed to live and to live my best fucking life and whatever I encounter on that journey, whether it’s a bomb ass job, a man or a child then good.

My parents got married at 22.  Can you guys believe it? Twenty-2.  At 22, I had just gotten out of one situationship and was heading into another situationship.  At 22, I was stressing because I had just found out I was graduating an entire semester earlier than planned.  At 22, I was trying what the fuck I was about to do with my life after May 14th at 9:30am and Gary Ransdell, WKU previous President called my name to receive my paper diploma.  At 22, I was trying to figure out what internship was I going to get after I did walk because I had one more class left before I could officially be a college graduate.  At 22, I was not thinking about a fucking marriage.  My parents had me at 25.  I recently turned 25 last month and at 25, I can’t financially support myself, so I definitely couldn’t financially support another life.  At 25, I’m still lost as fuck as to what I want to do in life.  At 25, I’m slightly lost, stressed and depressed.

I haven’t been in a relationship that held a quote, unquote title of boyfriend and girlfriend since 2012.  I haven’t been in a successful yet unnecessarily long situationship since 2014.  It’s 2018.  I haven’t been in love or felt wanted by a man in four years and I’ve learned a lot about myself.  To include the fact that I am okay with not getting married.  I’m also okay with not having kids.  However, if and when I meet a man that I’m in love with and we decide to get married, than baby I’m all for it! And if he wants to have kids, of course I am going to give that man some kids.  But I won’t cry or be hurt if I don’t either or.  When I was younger, I had a plan of what my life was “supposed” to look like.  Married by 23, first kid by 25 and a second by 28.  So much for that plan. I think my focus right now is mainly on getting myself together financially, physically, mentally and most importantly, spiritually.  Once I get all of that in order, thinking about marriage and kids will come into play.

xoxo

Jas ❤

 

Lip Color of the Week

This week’s lip color is NYX Liquid Suede Disruptive.  I was SO nervous to try this lip color because it was different and I didn’t think it would look right on me, however once I put it on, I absolutely loved this color on me! It looked amazing and can’t wait to wear it often!

Lip Color of the Week

This week’s lippie of the week is by none other than NYX Wicked Lippie Trickery Supercherie.  I love this color because it’s a metallic greenish color and I honestly felt so fierce using this lip color.

10 Ways to Stay Inspired

The other night, I was working on a project.  Around 9 or so, I got tired and decided to shut my computer down and go to bed for the night.  At night time, I put my phone loud just in case an emergency was happening and I need to be able to hear my phone.  Well ding my phone went as soon as I cut the light off and laid my head on the pillow.  It was my brother and I knew it was him because he has a distinctive text tone. I thought what is he doing up this late at night, he’s usually asleep by now, so of course it triggers me to get up and go check out the text.  He’d sent me a link to an article, “Ellen Pompeo, TV’s $20 Million Woman, Reveals Her Behind-the-Scenes Fight for “What I Deserve” | Hollywood Reporter

I read the article in its entirety, however the only thing that stood out to me was this paragraph, “The result: Pompeo’s new pact will have her earning more than $20 million a year – $575,000 per episode, along with a seven-figure signing bonus and two full backend equity points on the series, estimated to bring in another $6 million to $7 million.  She also will get a producing fee plus backend on this spring’s Grey’s spin-off as well as put pilot commitments and office space for her Calamity Jane production company on Disney’s Burbank lot.”

I texted my brother and asked, “Where do I go wrong in life?” I’m literally living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes have to choose between getting gas or groceries.  And he replies, “You’re still young with no kids.  ITS NOT TOO LATE! 30 year old Jasmines struggles and/or successes will be determined by what 24 year old Jasmine does.” It immediately triggered me to get up out the bed and begin working on my project that I was just working on.  Can I pause and tell you guys a story? So, every since November, I’ve been working on a Stationery Line, coming up with designs, brand logo, etc.  I had everything saved on a flash drive.  The night before my brother sends me this text message, I went in to go upload all my files onto a website so that I can get a prototype of what I am currently working on priced and made, but OF COURSE, my flash drive would could not be recognized.  I hooked up it up to my personal laptop and to my work laptop and NOTHING.  I honestly had a nervous breakdown and COULD NOT STOP CRYING.  I started thinking all of my struggles and how I was upset that this happened because I see myself as being the next Lily Pulitzer, Wink Wink Co., Rifle Paper Co., mintgreen or just one of those stationery companies that’s sold inside of TJ Maxx/Marshall’s or Walmart/Target.  However, after a hour or so of crying, talking to God and listening to some Gospel music, I got myself together and I started everything over from scratch and even came up with a different idea for what I had been working on.

Anyone, my brother saying that it’s not too late for me and that what I do now will take care of me once I am 30, made me motivated and determined.  My brother also told me that he’s enrolled back into, although this is his 5th or so enrolling ‘back’ into school.  But his plans are to eventually go and get into Nursing School and be done by 2020, take a couple of years off and go back to become a doctor.  And although he has gone back to school and not finished SO many times, I have complete faith in him.  This is our year to get started on the things that we want in life and that’s what this blog post is about.  How to stay inspired when you’re feeling uninspired to accomplish your goals.

Write down your ideas. Yes, write them down. Every single one.  It’ll help you, keep on track with your thoughts and ideas so that you don’t forget them and two, it’s a way of holding yourself accountable of the ideas you have written down and getting them implemented.  Write now, I currently have a lot of my ideas that I have planned for my stationery business written down and pinned to my bulletin board.

Change your routine. Maybe you’re not feeling inspired to change or grow because you’re doing the same routine over and over again and you’ve become complacent with your life.  I know I’ve gotten to that point, I wake up, go to work, go to the gym, come home eat, take a shower, and watch a show or two before bed and repeat.  On the weekends, I’d wake up, go to the gym, eat, go to a store or two, eat, watch TV and repeat.  However, I’m realizing that maybe I should go to the library or to Starbucks instead of going to the gym so that I can feel inspired to get things going as far as my goals.  Go to an art museum, symposium or join a group to switch things up a little.  When you have a change of scenery, you become more inspired.

Declutter your space. This is also very important.  Sometimes, my apartment can be a complete mess.  When my apartment is a mess, I feel a mess and don’t feel like doing anything.  However, once I clean my spot up, I feel more refreshed and like I can conquer the world.

Pin Up Motivational Prints. The article that I mentioned and linked above, has definitely been printed out.  Articles on stationery companies and how they got started are pinned on my bulletin board.  I’ve also found advice and steps on how to get the ball going on my business as well, pinned up.  Motivational quotes are all around my house, you guys know how in Being Mary Jane, Mary Jane had sticky notes all around her house with affirmations? Me. Guilty AF.

Read a book or magazine. Just like a lot of people can get invested in a TV Show and want to become an actress, producer, or director (or am I the only one who gets inspired to do one of the three while watching TV?), you can become inspired by the books or magazines you read.  If you’re reading a book about happiness, you may get inspired to take some tips from the book and become happy or if you’re reading a magazine, you may become inspired to be a journalist or blogger.

Discover new music. Discovering new music is honestly one of the best feelings in the world.  Spotify, which I definitely recommend and prefer over any other music streaming app, to include iTUNES, is a great music source for playlist.  As I’ve mentioned before HeyFranHey has a couple of playlist on Spotify and each of them have introduced me into new music, new artists, new talent, new creatives who have all inspired me to get some get up and go about myself.

Collaborate with others. This one is extremely important.  I will admit, that I lack in this area of collaborating with others, but I think it’s extremely important because if you’re not feeling inspired, but whoever you’re collaborating with is, they can have a positive affect on you causing you to become inspired.  Also, they may have some ideas that can help you out or some connections that you may need in order to do whatever it is that you’re looking to do.

Go Somewhere New. A new and unseen scene can definitely inspire you.  Something in that new scene that you’ve never seen before can spark you to do something new or trigger something in you to become motivated.

Don’t Give Up. This is also extremely important.  When I had my nervous breakdown, I definitely felt like giving up on my stationery dreams.  I felt like, maybe my flash drive stopped working for a reason and that this isn’t the route for me to go.  However, I didn’t give up and I actually came up with different and possibly better ideas for what I want to do.

Have fun.  No matter what you do in life, don’t give up on your goals and dreams!! You never know what may turn out from them.

What are things you do to keep inspired?

xoxo

Jas

Can My 2018 Look Like Issa Rae’s 2017?

Can we talk about Issa Rae and how it’s been an incredible year for her? A lot of people are saying they want their 2018 to be like Cardi B’s 2017 and by no means am I knocking Cardi B and her newfound success in 2017, but I however want my 2018 to look like Issa Rae’s 2017.  Issa Rae went from a YouTube web series, “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” ( Season 1 of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl and Season 2) to a premium cable series with her HBO show, “Insecure.”  Ever since then, her career, her life and her show, took off.  A true inspiration, especially for creatives!! She was also recently nominated for a Golden Globe nomination for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series.

Issa Rae also ended the year with a big announcement.  HBO will be moving forward with two needs shows to be written by Issa Rae, Him or Her and Sweet Life.  HBO will pick up the comedy and drama for production in the upcoming year.  She will work with Travon Free on Him or Her and executive produce the 30 minute comedy.  It will be about the chronicle dating life of a bisexual black man and the different worlds and relationships he finds himself ending up in.  The second show, The Sweet Life will be a one-hour dram based out of L.A., focusing on the “well-heeled teens” of Windsor Hills and will be co-created with Scandal producer, Raamla Mohamed.

All I’m saying is, I’ve never acted or thought about acting, but sis… I want in on this The Sweet Life show.  Whether it’s behind the scenes, helping with the writing or directly in front of the camera being one of the teens on the show, I mean I look 16 or 17 even though I’m 24, and if y’all remember, she said she wanted grown people to play the teens.  Here’s the video of her pitching her idea for the show before it became a reality: Issa Rae Pitches a Black 90210

Insecure will also be returning in the upcoming year for season 3.  Again, I want my 2018 success to look like Issa Rae’s 2017 success.

Unpaid Internships

Is having an internship apart of your required courses or do you just want one because you want the experience? I was a fashion merchandising major and an internship was required of my program.  I remember searching high and searching low for an internship.  Nordstrom is a prominent company who has internships for fashion merchandising students year-round.  I have applied to a couple of their internships at different locations and have had multiple interviews and sadly have never gotten one with them.  I took my internship course the my last semester in college (Summer of 2015).  I actually didn’t land an internship until two weeks before the class began and surprise, surprise it was an unpaid internship.  I was on twitter and I saw a tweet:

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Now luckily for me, my internship happened to be virtual, but if it were an in-person internship, I would have had to move to Nashville, however, in reality, it was still unpaid and I definitely wouldn’t have been able to survive in Nashville on an unpaid internship, so I understand the pain.  They want you to work for them full-time and do full-time, paid work for no pay.  But I also think it’s good to work an unpaid internship.  If you prove yourself and work hard, which I was the only intern who worked diligently and hard and I honestly think I was the only intern who stuck it out the entire duration of the internship and eventually she hired me on as a part-time Virtual Assistant/Social Media Coordinator.  So there are definitely pros and cons of an unpaid internship:

Pros:

  • Pursuit of success, not money.  With an unpaid internship, we know that you are there because you want to be, not because of the money.  Let’s face it, once you graduate college, most of us try to get a job in our field, but nine times out of ten, get a job anywhere because we need a job and money to get by and often times find ourselves stuck in a situation because, like I said, we need the money.  However, with an unpaid internship, you’re not getting paid, you’re literally doing the work for free and therefore are there to help you build your skillset and knowledge and to become successful later on in life.
  • Resume builder.  An internship, whether paid or unpaid is definitely a resume builder, especially if it’s at a great company.  My unpaid internship was with a non-profit organization, therefore if I wanted to work for an non-profit organizations in the future, I can slap that on my resume to and be a shoein.  It also just helps you out, especially if you did a lot of things at your internship that has transferable skills.
  • Testing the Waters.  Having an unpaid internship is definitely a way to test the waters.  At the time, I knew I wanted to be in the fashion industry, I just didn’t know in what way.  With a degree in fashion, you can explore careers as a buyer, retail manager, visual merchandising, fashion journalist, fashion coordinator, product development, product design, stylist, brand manager, image consultant, fashion event coordinator, etc.  I always said I wanted to be a stylist than I wanted to be a buyer and then I wanted to be a visual merchandiser.  By the time I graduated, I had no idea what I wanted to do.  But this job opened my eyes to two career routes, a fashion marketer or fashion entrepreneur.
  • Networking. An unpaid internship is definitely a great way to network and build your connections.  When you stick it out at an unpaid internship, especially a virtual unpaid internship, you build that trust and rapport with your supervisor and they write letter of recommendations for you or help you find a job or are just there to be an ear.
  • College credits.  As an alternative of being paid, most unpaid internships with offer college credits, especially for those of us who have a required internship course.

Cons:

  • Financial hurdles.  As mentioned in the tweet, how tf am I supposed to survive? On air and tears? You want students to spend 10 – 12 weeks in a new city, often times it’ll be a big city (New York, D.C., LA, or Miami are top cities for internships that students want), get an apartment and have transportation for NO pay at all? You have lost your mind right? Not everybody has a rich mommy and daddy to support us during this extremely tough time.
  • Missed Experiences.  With an unpaid internship, that’s full-time, of course they expect you to be at work as if you were a full-time employee getting paid.  Most internships occur over the summer and a lot of vacation and fun times happen over the summer, but you’ll have to miss out on those  experiences because of your unpaid internship.
  • Unfair advantage of work.  A lot of times, companies hire unpaid internships to do the work that they would normally pay a regular employee to do because they well, don’t want to pay a regular employee, regular employee wages.  They take advantage of you and have you do a lot of work in benefit of the company.

But by all means, like my friend in the previous mentioned in her follow-up tweet, if you are financially able to do an unpaid internship, by all means boo boo, do the shit.

Find internships at internships.com.  It’s where I found my unfortunate, but fortunate, unpaid internship.

Friends With Benefits: Pros and Cons

According to dictionary.com, a friends with benefits relationship is a friend with whom one has sex  without a romantic relationship or commitment and/or a friend with whom one has occasional sexual relations, without a commitment or dating arrangement.

Having a friend with benefits relationship is a way to avoid responsibility and a way to have your needs met without having to deal with a nagging boyfriend and/or girlfriend.  My sophomore year of college, I decided to engage in one.  It lasted for a good month only because I soon realized the cons of such relationship.  They’re honestly all fun and games until one of the two falls in love.

Pros

  1. You can try and experiment new things with your friend
  2. It’s a way to avoid drama.  No boyfriend or girlfriend to have to worry about
  3. Most of us girls go out of our way to impress the guy we like with make-up, hair, nails, clothes, but with our friend with benefits we don’t have to worry about it
  4. It’s all fun and sex
  5. The relationship could involved into an actual relationship

Cons

  1. Emotions can get involved and people’s feelings can get hurt
  2. Things can get messy, especially once someone does catch feelings
  3. If the two of you are truly friends, you’ll mess up the “friend” part of the relationship
  4. It could make it hard for you to meet someone new especially if the sex is great

Regardless of the pros and cons of the friend with benefits you should set boundaries with that person.  If you feel like the person you’re in a friend with benefits relationships with or yourself is catching feelings, trust me..RUN!!

xoxo

-Jas ❤