I’m Okay with Not Getting Married

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Back in February, I went home for my parents 50th birthday celebration.  While we were at the venue setting up, my father and I were talking about his eating habits and health.  He went on a rant about how he’s trying to overall live a healthier life as he wants to see his grandkids grow up and see me get married. It didn’t dawn on me until a couple of days later that my father is looking forward to seeing me get married, however I have come to the realization that I may not want to get married and I am okay with that.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against getting married and if I fall in love with a man who wants to eventually marry me, I’m open to it, but what I am saying is that, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t stress out about it, I won’t complain and be one of those women who’s always nagging about never getting married, but instead I’ll continue to live a long healthy life.  I think too often women get caught up in this life of, I’m supposed to go to college, graduate, get a job, find a man, get married and have kids and I don’t believe that.  I believe that I am supposed to live and to live my best fucking life and whatever I encounter on that journey, whether it’s a bomb ass job, a man or a child then good.

My parents got married at 22.  Can you guys believe it? Twenty-2.  At 22, I had just gotten out of one situationship and was heading into another situationship.  At 22, I was stressing because I had just found out I was graduating an entire semester earlier than planned.  At 22, I was trying what the fuck I was about to do with my life after May 14th at 9:30am and Gary Ransdell, WKU previous President called my name to receive my paper diploma.  At 22, I was trying to figure out what internship was I going to get after I did walk because I had one more class left before I could officially be a college graduate.  At 22, I was not thinking about a fucking marriage.  My parents had me at 25.  I recently turned 25 last month and at 25, I can’t financially support myself, so I definitely couldn’t financially support another life.  At 25, I’m still lost as fuck as to what I want to do in life.  At 25, I’m slightly lost, stressed and depressed.

I haven’t been in a relationship that held a quote, unquote title of boyfriend and girlfriend since 2012.  I haven’t been in a successful yet unnecessarily long situationship since 2014.  It’s 2018.  I haven’t been in love or felt wanted by a man in four years and I’ve learned a lot about myself.  To include the fact that I am okay with not getting married.  I’m also okay with not having kids.  However, if and when I meet a man that I’m in love with and we decide to get married, than baby I’m all for it! And if he wants to have kids, of course I am going to give that man some kids.  But I won’t cry or be hurt if I don’t either or.  When I was younger, I had a plan of what my life was “supposed” to look like.  Married by 23, first kid by 25 and a second by 28.  So much for that plan. I think my focus right now is mainly on getting myself together financially, physically, mentally and most importantly, spiritually.  Once I get all of that in order, thinking about marriage and kids will come into play.

xoxo

Jas ❤

 

Lip Color of the Week

Lippie color of the week is NYX’s Liquid Suede Initiator.  I’ll be honest, I absolutely LOVE this color, use not on me! I think it’s too close to my skin tone and flushes me out a little bit.

How to Make Use of Your Time Commuting to and from Work

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You’re sitting in your car, driving to and from work, and your life is passing you by.  You hate the commute, but you have to do it time and time again, “Well maybe I’ll get a job closer to home or a work from home job.” no, learn how to make use of your time commuting to and from work.

A couple of months ago, I lived in Owensboro, KY and commuted an hour or so to Bowling Green, KY three out of five days a week and I had to figure out what to do in that time frame.

Listen to a podcast. Honestly, before this I had never listened to Podcast before in my life.  I found some dope ones, The Read and The Friend Zone.  I listened to a couple of others, but these were the two that kept me sane and interested, alive and alert on my commute.  Now that I live in Nashville and my commute is about 30 to 40 minutes to work, I still listen to these podcasts.

Catch up with a loved one. Call a friend or a family member that you haven’t talked to in a while and see what they’re up too!

Discover new music. Put on a random playlist from Spotify or Apple Music that you’ve never listened to or that may have artists that you’d usually never listen too! You may discover some gems!

Find a different route to work.  I know we like to stick to the usual and not try anything new, especially when it comes to driving! When I first moved to Nashville and I was still finding my way to my job from my house, my GPS took me three different routes, three different days in a row to work.  It was refreshing because I got a different scene and depending on the day, one route was faster than the other.

Brainstorm.  Sit in silence in the car and think about all the things you need to do or want to do.  This could possibly be one of the best times to do something like this! You have no distraction, besides the other cars but there is minimum noise and no one to talk to you and interrupt your thoughts.

What are some things that you do to make use of your time commuting to and from work?

xoxo

Jas ❤

Lip Color of the Week

This week’s lip color is NYX Liquid Suede Disruptive.  I was SO nervous to try this lip color because it was different and I didn’t think it would look right on me, however once I put it on, I absolutely loved this color on me! It looked amazing and can’t wait to wear it often!

How to Keep Motivation in the Gym

Let me guess, at the beginning of the year or at the end of 2017, you made a New Year’s Resolution to go to the gym more and on January 2nd you marched into your gym of choice and signed up for a membership.  The true test is, 3 months later, are you still in the gym? Or is that gym taking that monthly payment of your account for no reason or you canceled your membership on February 1st once you realized you in fact were not about that gym life?

Normally, this is the part where I’d say me too, right? Well no, not me too.  I’m actually an avid gym workouter (haha, I believe I just made up a word, but who’s checking for me?)  In January I worked out 26/31 days.  In February, I was a little burnt out from working out so much in January, so the first couple of days in February, I didn’t work out, however I did workout 23/28 days.  In March, I worked out 28/31 days and so far this month of April, I’ve worked out everyday.  Below are ways that I’ve stayed motivated to continue working out and to workout as hard as I do:

Document your progress.  I took pictures one a month so that I could see my progress.  When you see the progress you’ve made through pictures, it is a motivation to keep going and keep pushing.  You see that the working out that you’ve done, has been working and you want to keep going, so you do.  You don’t have to take a picture every month, but taking a picture every couple of months and seeing the transformation is also encouraging!

Find a Gym that Fits You.  I got to Planet Fitness and sometimes I’ll go to the gym at my apartment complex.  Sometimes, Planet Fitness is too crowded and my anxiety doesn’t allow me to be around a plethora of people and sometimes my gym at my apartment complex can be filled with people and I need to go to Planet Fitness.  I know I’ll workout harder if I actually go to Planet Fitness.  However, outside of Planet Fitness or maybe if you don’t have a home gym or your apartment complex doesn’t have a gym, there are a lot more gyms to choose from.  You have to decide what is best for you, is the price right? Do they have the machines you’re looking for? Are they 24/7, 24/5, etc.? Make sure you do research and visit different gyms to see what is right for you.  Your surroundings will definitely play a big part in how often you’ll go to the gym.

Pick a schedule.  Pick a schedule and stick too it!!! I go to the gym after work 5 days a week.  I get off at 3:30pm and I usually get to the gym around 4:15pm.  That is my time and I stick to it.  A couple of times, I’ve gone home to take a nap and then ‘try’ to go to the gym.  Sometimes I go and sometimes I don’t.  However, when I pick and stick to my schedule, I know that I’ll continuously go! Some people are morning people or have more time in the morning before work to go to the gym, if that works for you, stick to it!!

Find a eating plan.  MEAL PREP! MEAL PREP! MEAL PREP! And I say this, because it is so easy to get off track or not feel like coming home to cook so you end up stopping by a fast food restaurant.  However if you meal prep, you won’t be tempted to stop somewhere because you know you have that meal prepped at the house.  I typically meal prep breakfast and lunch and I’ll cook dinner and have the leftovers for the next couple of days.  This was definitely hard, especially since I loved myself a 4 for 4 at Wendy’s!! But I’ve winged myself off of it and have not had fast food since February!

Get you a gym playlist.  Find songs that gives you the motivation to workout and create a playlist.  Spotify is a really good app for creating playlist.  I have my very own gym playlist that you can listen to here and sometimes I’ll find playlist that others have created for the gym on there! But a good playlist will always keep you motivated and going in the gym.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT SLOW PROGRESS IS BETTER THAN NO PROGRESS.  Always remember that everyone’s body is different.  Some people lose weight faster than others, etc.  It’s also all about trial and error.  Trying out a meal plan routine and/or workout routine may not work the first time, but a different plan may just work for you.  Keep trying and keep pushing.

What keeps you motivated in going to the gym?

xoxo

Jas ❤

25 Things I Learned in 25 Years

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  1. Self-love is the best love.  Living for yourself and not worrying about what others think is such a healthy way of life.  When you worry too much about what others think, you begin to believe the things that those people say and try to change who you are as a person.  You also can’t begin to love someone else if you don’t love yourself.
  2. Listen to your intuition.  When you get that feeling that something is wrong or right, GO WITH IT.  I’ve had so many moments, where I did not go with my gut feeling and ended up getting my feelings hurt and other times where I’ve gone with my gut feelings and have been right and avoided a lot of drama.
  3. Take risks.  This is one thing I am a big firm believer in is taking risk.  I mean, a plan was presented to me to move to LA and I moved in less than a month.  I feel like sometimes taking risks are important because you never want to have that regret later on in life.  I never want to get older and say, “Man, I regret not moving to LA when I had the chance.” You know?
  4. TRAVEL.  And travel as often as you can.  I’ve taking so many trips during college that I probably shouldn’t have taken because my funds were low, but I did anyway because well, you only get to college once and two you’re only young once, so why not be irresponsible.  Now, I just want to travel the world, even if it is by myself.  I’ve only traveled once so far this year, but have two trips planned for the summer, a possible trip in May, I’m looking into planning another trip for September and hopefully one for October or November, maybe both.
  5. Embrace your weirdness.  A quote I recently saw that spoke to me, “It’s better to appear strange to others than as a stranger to yourself.” If you’re weird, so fucking what? I’m weird. I’m awkward. I like different things than other people and that’s truly ofuckingkay.
  6. Some people will bring out the worst in you.  Some the best. And others, the most. When you figure this out, you have to eliminate those people who do bring out the worst in you and you have to cherish those who bring out the best.  I am an introvert at heart and I always choose to hang around people who are extroverted because I know they’ll bring out my deep inner extrovertness.
  7. Live a little.  If you’re trying to lose that weight, EAT THAT MOTHERFUCKING HAMBURGER when you get a chance.  If a guy asks you out on a date, GO ON THAT DATE SIS.  If a friend ask you to go skydiving, GO SK..well sis, maybe you should just live life on edge by doing inside skydiving.  If you want to move to another city, GO TO THAT CITY.
  8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.  This took me a minute to learn, but nonetheless I learned it.  If I don’t want to go somewhere or do something, a simple no is all that person needs.  I don’t have to explain why I don’t want too. Take this no and be grateful I even gave you that because I could’ve just ignored your request.
  9. Spend time with your parents. I don’t get to see my parents often and I really haven’t in the past 6 years, being 4 hours way during college and living in Los Angeles and now Nashville, I don’t see them often, but I love my parents so much and spending time with them is very important to me.  I guess that’s why I stay up under them whenever I go home. LMAO, WHERE WE GOING MOM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING DAD?
  10. Don’t settle. This is also an important thing I learned.  If you don’t like something, please don’t settle for it.  Know your worth, Queen and go after what you deserve, especially in a significant other.
  11. Don’t plan your life out according to a time table.  This was a big mistake a made.  I always had a timeline.  Graduate college at 22 (Only thing I’ve done according to my timeline, LOL), get myself together financially and build with my current boyfriend (LOL!), get engaged and married by 25, first kid by 28 and no kids no later than 30.  Look at me? 25 with not a significant other in sight or close to being in sight. LMAO, live life and don’t go out looking for something.  If it finds you, it’ll find you.
  12. Don’t stress over what can’t be controlled.  Will it matter in 5 minutes? Will it matter in 5 years? No, move on boo.  When I lived in LA, I stressed my entire time and didn’t get to fully enjoy the city.  Everything eventually worked out, especially with a good pay job, which was my main stress factor, and it was all in God’s timing.
  13. Don’t compare your life to the lives of others.  I had to learn this the hard way.  Always on Instagram, strolling and seeing friends getting those jobs right after college or on facebook seeing people happily in love, getting married and with kids.  It’s just not healthy and in a way it stumps your growth.  You’re too worried about how others are living and how they did it as opposed to focusing on yourself and seeing how and what you can do to get to where they are.
  14. BE GRATEFUL. Always.  There are people out who haven’t made it to see 25.  There are people out there who haven’t accomplished as much as I have at 25.  There are a lot of people who can’t do half the things I can do at 25.  I’m not where I want to be, but I am forever grateful for where I am.
  15. Think for myself. WOW, this was definitely a big one.  I think growing up, my mom would always do the talking for me.  I remember we lived in WV and we were in the car with a neighbor and she asked me a question, however my mom immediately answered the question before I could even process the question and formulate an answer and I remember the neighbor saying, “I asked Jasmine the question.” But I’ve been on my own for a while now, so thinking for myself has been something I’ve had to do, although I do still call me mom for advice, I still have to formulate my own thoughts and opinions on things to make the best decision for myself.IMG_5814
  16. Who I was at 20, 22 and even at 24 doesn’t define who I will be at 25.  Man, I’ve done some crazy shit that I KNEW for a fact was wrong, but I still did them because I was being petty or because I just felt like, however those things do NOT and will NOT define the person I’ve become.
  17. Love what you do for a living.  Okay, so I’ve learned while being in Corporate America that you might hate your job, but I’ve also learned that, that job could be setting you up with the experience for your next job.  My first job in Corporate was an Admissions Representative (code for Sales) at a technical school.  However, that job title and some of my responsibilities opened doors for me in HR.
  18. SAVE MONEY.  OMG, y’all please, PLEASE save money.  That money you have in your savings can help you out in times of emergencies, like for instance when your checking account goes into the negatives or gets as low as .47, but at least you’ll have that money in your savings to help you out a little until that next paycheck comes in.  Or having a savings period is very helpful for later on in life when you want to do something major like buy a house.
  19. Make connections.  This is very important, regardless of what industry you’re in.  You never know whose watching you or who can help you get to the next step that yo’re trying to get too.
  20. Follow your dreams.  One of my biggest fears is that I’m not living the life God has planned for me to live.  I currently work in Corporate America, but I’m not sure if that’s the route I’m supposed to be going.  I went to school for fashion and the longer I’m in Corporate America, the more I think if I should go with my first career choice
  21. It’s not always about look. When it comes to a significant other or hell if yourself, it’s not about looks.  Looks won’t get you that job, that boyfriend, that healthy life, that.. whatever you’re looking for it’s more than looks.  Do you have a personality? Do you have the skill set? What can you offer and put on the table?
  22. Learn something new everyday.  When you’re not learning, I feel like you’re being complacent with your current knowledge.  There’s nothing wrong with being a continuous learner and picking up a new skill or learning about something new everyday.
  23. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself girl or no one else will, but no seriously if you’re constantly doubting yourself, there’s only so much that people around you can try to believe in you before they start doubting you too.
  24. BE KIND.  No matter what, be kind.  Be kind to that stranger, be kind to that CEO and that janitor, be kind to your mom, be kind to your dad, be kind to your siblings, your friends, your family, everyone! It’s better to be kind than to be the Grinch.
  25. The best is yet to come.  If you don’t feel like you’re where you are or need to be, remember the best is yet to come.  Keep working and striving, it’ll come soon darling.

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4 Ways to Tap Into Your Creative Self

Do you consider yourself a creative person, but don’t know how to tap into your creative self? Check out the list below for ways to tap into your creative self.

Keep a journal. When I say that I have a million and one journals, I have a million and one journals.  Each journal has something different.  One is for blogging content, one is for goals, one is for stories/poems that I write, one is for songs that I write.  I literally use a different journal for different things.  Writing down things is also a way to deal and cope when you’re feeling down.  Your best content comes from when you’re feeling a type of way, besides when you keep a journal, you never know if you’re about to write the next best TV Show, movie or book.

Draw.  I also have a sketch book that I take with me everywhere.  I am not the best free drawer, but if you put a cartoon picture in front of me, I will draw the heck out of that picture, more specifically Phineas and Ferb.  I have so many old drawings of them, that I can’t find btw.  Again, when you draw, you may draw up the next art that could be in an art gallery or sold to someone online.  You never know.

Spend Time Outside.  Nature stimulates creativity.  I think we tap into our best selves and our creativeness comes out when we spend time outside.  Exposure to fresh air and the sounds of wildlife will help you feel your most creative.

Get Moving.  Play and play often.  Have fun, it’s where creativity stimulates from.  When you’re serious all the time, you can’t be as creative.  Take a walk or go for a jog.  I can’t tell you guys how many times, I’ve been at the park for a run and I’ve thought of something and had to pause to write those thoughts in my notes that I don’t forget them later.

“To be creative means to be in love with life.  You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.”