Update on My Life

 

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Here lately, I’ve been doing a check up on my life after college.  I did a “What My Life is Like A Year after College Graduation?” and a “What My Life is Like 2 Years After College Graduation?” But now, I just want to give an update as to What My Life is Like, point blank period. LOL.

What’s New?

So, as you all know I had relocated from LA to Owensboro, KY.  I was a Hall Director at one school and  a graduate assistant at another school that was an hour away and three days out of the week I was commuting for an hour back and forth.  I quickly realized that I wasn’t happy with my job as a Hall Director nor was I happy with a daily commute.  When I say my happiness is SO important to me when it comes to a job, I mean it and because I wasn’t happy, my search for a new job in a new location began.  I put in thousands and thousands of application in Memphis, Nashville and Bowling Green, however the only location to consistently call me about jobs was Nashville. So, here I am newly relocated in my new city of Nashville, TN.

Employment

I am back in the Talent Acquisition industry.  Working as a Talent Acquisition Coordinator with Aramark.  My plan is to stick with them for at least the next year and hopefully a promotion to a Talent Acquisition Specialist is looking bright or a transfer to the human resources department is looking bright.  Either or would work for me.  However, I eventually want to transfer to the Aramark in Burbank, CA to get back out to LA.

Housing

I live in Lebanon, TN which is about 45 minutes away from Nashville.  The area is extremely nice and quiet and I love it.  My rent is also pretty nice compared to if I were to actually live in Nashville.  All the 1 bedrooms and even studios were at minimum of $1,000 and baby who about to spend that much money on an apartment? Not I.

Debt

Well… you guys.  I am still in debt.  Probably in more debt than what I was before.  I got a text message from my mom a couple of next ago asking me WTF was I doing that I hadn’t paid one of my credit card bills.  I had nothing to say but girl, I don’t have the money right now. We are just going to pray on this now and hope that I get that money soon to pay off these bills.

Lifestyle

It’s pretty boring AF.  I don’t do anything but go to work and to the gym and sleep.  LOL, but I am not complaining.  The only time I really have something to do is when I go to Bowling Green with my line sisters.  Hopefully I’ll get some friends soon and can get a social life.

Goals

This Month’s Goals:

– Workout twice a day (So far, I have gotten back into the groove of working out everyday, once a day)

– Lose 5 lbs by the end of the month

– Consistently blog and come up with content for the rest of the year

– Begin vlogging

– Enter into Nashville Fashion Week Modeling Contest

Overall, life is life and I still feel as though I haven’t found my purpose.  Waking up everyday and going to a desk job does not sound appealing to me at all and I struggle to wake up everyday and have motivation to really do anything at all.  I am more of a creative person.  I just want to wake up whenever I want to and go to a photo session take some photos, go to the gym, go shop a little bit, brunch or tea with some friends and go home and paint some portraits, vlog some videos and style some celebrities. LOL, like I legitimately think those are my life goals.  Getting paid to be pretty, take pictures and do videos.  Getting paid for my creative arts.

Woman Crush Wednesday

Self-proclaimed Awkward Black Girl, Issa Rae is definitely worthy of WCW this week.  As usual when it comes to TV Shows, I always get on the wave late and I didn’t know anything about Insecure until after the season finale aired and everyone was talking about it, so of course I had to get the free trial of HBO and catch up on the show and see what it was all about.  My GIRL Issa.  At the time I had only lived in LA for about 5 months, but felt as if I could relate to the show to THE T.  Since the show, my girl Issa has definitely evolved.  The media is saying she went form a size 8 (although she looked and was probably more like a size 10 or 12) to a size 0 and I saw her in person at the Essence Festival and she is definitely now a size 0.  She is also just gorgeous and amazing and an excellent writer, actress, and I really wish she would stop playing and give Kofi Siriboe a chance because they would make cute chocolate babies! 🙂

xoxo

Jas ❤

Why Am I Single?

A lot of my friends have either been with their significant other for quite sometime now or are getting into serious relationships, but me, well urm, I’m just chilling you know until somebody randomly falls into my lap (also known as, being forever alone, lol)

Often times when I start talking to a new guy, they always say, “How can someone so pretty like you not have a boyfriend?” I’ve always replied with, “Because I’m crazy.” HA! A lot of people think that just because a person is attractive it automatically makes them in a relationship or apparently have all the hoes (I have neither, btw).  Looks aren’t all the qualities a man and/or woman should look for in a significant other.  What can you bring to the table? Can you stimulate my mind? Are you God-Fearing? What you got going for yourself? What you doing to progress to the next level?  These are questions we should be asking about ourselves and in our partner.

My love life has been something like an emotional rollercoaster.  I’ve had my fair share of unfortunate relationships/situationships and my fair share of good relationships/situationships.  For the past 4 years, I’ve been single.  I’ve dated plenty of guys within the past 4 years, but I think it was more so of finding my worth and who and what I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  Sometimes it’s hard because you just want somebody to call your own and have standing in your corner.

Reasons I’m single:

  1. I’m trying to figure out my life.  Everyday I wake up and I put in a new job application to a new job from Memphis to Los Angeles.  If I don’t know where I will be working this time next week, I definitely shouldn’t bring anybody into the picture.  It would be unfair of me to start talking to a guy in Memphis and I get a call back for a job in Texas and I have to move there.  I’m still trying to figure me out and what’s going on in my life and it’s really hard to get yourself together when you have someone in your life who isn’t being of asset to you figuring your life out.
  2. I’m selfish.  When it comes to a lot of things in life, I am incredibly selfish.  When it comes to my money, I’m selfish.  When it comes to sharing things that should be shared in a relationship, I’m selfish.  Everyday I’m working on being more and more selfless, but until then… I will continue being single.
  3. I’m still thotting and enjoying my freedom. It’s incredibly annoying when I have to answer to a guy everyday.  When you’re talking to someone, you have to text and/or talk to them on the phone everyday.  Do y’all know that there are days that I just want to be left alone and not have to text you? I was texting this guy on a friendly level, but then it turned into him texting me everyday.  For three days straight, he text me “Good morning” and even a second throughout the day when I didn’t reply back to his Good morning text.  He later sent me a text message on snap, because I foolishly put up a snap forgetting that he follows me on there.  He eventually hit me with the, “I’ve been texting you the past couple of days.” Sir, my phone is in my hand a good chunk of the day, I know that you text me, I just didn’t reply back to you.  I am also at the age where I still like having options.  I’m not completely ready to give me undivided attention to one and only one guy.
  4. I don’t think I’ve found my soulmate. I truly don’t feel like I’ve met the guy that I’m supposed to be with for a while or for the rest of my life.  Clearly, or else I wouldn’t be single right now.  It seems as if everyone around are getting engaged and married and are with the guy that they know that they will someday marry.  Me, well, I guess I’m still on the path of finding my soulmate.
  5. Afraid of the thought of someone loving me.  It’s really scary to think of someone loving me more than I love myself.  Like how dare you love me in a way that a woman should be loved? It’s scary because they could love me more than I love them and not only that, but just thinking like, someone could love me and I hurt them or they hurt me.  I don’t know.. It’s just scary being loved.
  6. Unhealthy attractions.  Most people like to think that I have a certain type in a guy and that I also go for looks in guys.  All the guys have all been the same in some kind of way, thus the reason behind me being single forever and ever.
  7. Fear of competition.  When you’re starting off talking to someone, most times, they are probably talking to you, Becky, Barbara, and Shelia.  You’re pretty much in competition with three others girls trying to win his heart.  I don’t compete for no man, y’all.  I don’t give a damn if it’s Chris Brown fine ass, I will not be out here competing with Ketchup and Rihanna.  Nah, I just ain’t going to do it.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m a very happy single person and am enjoying the journey of singleness.  I know that the man that I’m supposed to be with is out there somewhere, prayerfully working on his future and not on top of some hussy having sex.  I also think he’s in Houston, TX somewhere honestly.  But who knows.. Because I don’t.

xoxo

-Jas ❤

Woman Crush Wednesday

69cb8a3d-aa38-4db5-b507-68ebaf1db69bSo, I never knew who this queen was until I saw her slaying on the red carpet at the BET Awards show.  Nandi Mngoma is a musician, TV presenter, and actress from South Africa.  She is named after African Zulu Queen Nandi.  She received prasie from all fashion critiques when she showed up to the BET Awards wearing something from her debut clothing line, Colour.  She rose to fame in 2011 with the release of her single ‘Tonight‘ and gained further fame with the release of her album, ‘Nandi‘ in September 2012.  She was born in Maphumulo on March 20, 1988 and raised in  Durban, Kwazulu Hatal.

You can follow this queen on IG and/or Twitter: NandiMngoma

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Self Love

“No one is in charge of your happiness, but you.  Once you start living for yourself and making decision and doing things because you want to do them and not because of someone else, I promise life will get so much easier.  And it’s crazy because it took me 23 years to learn that, but better late than never.” – Jasmine Hockaday

 

Growing up in life, I used to be one of those people who relied heavily on what others thought of me.  I always felt that if I didn’t look a certain way, my peers would reject me.  My ideal of beauty was so fucked up.  I wanted long hair, a flat stomach, hips, and a fat ass.  I wanted smaller feet, to be shorter, and have curly hair.  There were so many things about myself that I wanted to change so that I could be that girl that all the niggas want and all the girls either want to be friends with or hate.  Sometimes I sit and think, like why was my mindset that way?

I would often seek validation in the wrong way and from the wrong people.  I thought if I had all the guys chasing after me, I was the shit.  I was looking for love in all the wrong places and wrong way too.  I thought if I put myself out there and had all the guys foundling over me, then that meant I was popping.  Love truly starts wit yourself and if you don’t love yourself, then one one can love you because baby who can love you better than you?

It should be the easiest thing in the world to love ourselves, because love is such a beautiful and important thing – but it is not easy. It is sometimes the hardest part of life.

It wasn’t until the summer before junior year of college where I really felt comfortable in my skin.  I was starting to lose weight, had not men in life to seeking validation from, I had gotten a new job, and my own apartment with my best friends.  Of course the hype from it all started to dwindling down and I was lost all over again with loving myself for me and who I am.

It wasn’t until my second semester of senior year that I truly felt comfortable in my skin and with who I was as a person.  I know longer cared to fit with what my peers thought of me and my decisions.  I was getting ready to graduate from college and none of them where going to land me the next big job that I wanted or get me into graduate school.  I felt like I had focused so much of my attention on what others thought, instead of thinking about what I thought of myself that I missed out a couple of great years I could have had to myself.

So what do you want to be, and what do you want to have in your life? Do you want to be well-dressed, outspoken, brave and spontaneous? […] It’s never to late to start! All you need to do is make a choice, and then start living in that direction! It may take time for all the pieces to fall in place, but even that isn’t necessarily true. You can date anyone, do whatever you want for work, live in any city which takes your fancy, and dress however you like. All it takes is a decision and some conscious action

Do more of what you love and what you want to do as opposed to trying to please or impress everyone around you.  Life will probably be 10xs better once you start doing so.

-xoxo

Jas ❤