Category Archives: Advice

8 Things to Do in the Morning to Have a More Productive Day

8 things to do

1. Get Up Early When you get up earlier than normal, about 2 hours earlier, you’ll feel more refreshed.  Not only will you feel more refreshed, but you can get a lot more done.  Cook that breakfast that you’ve never had time to cook before work, put a load of clothes in the washer, read that book you never have time to read or do some homework.

2.  Work Out. If you’re anything like me, waking up early to work out sounds sooooooo sad, lol.  I prefer working out in the evenings after work, however I have worked out before work before and you have SO much free time after you’re done for the day.  You can finish that load of clothes you put in the washer that morning from getting up early, you can cook dinner, do homework, scratch some things off of your to-do list, etc.

3. Read the News. I’ll admit, this is something that I am extremely bad at. I usually use Twitter as my source for News, but I should probably download a News app (I don’t have cable to actually watch the news).  It’s very important to know what’s going on in the world, as it almost always directly affects you and it’s also good to be able to keep up and have an opinion when the topic of conversation is brought up with co-workers, friends or even strangers.

4. Meditate. A great way to refocus, destress, and have a clear mind to begin and conquer the day.

5. Eat Breakfast. I don’t know about you guys but when I don’t eat breakfast in the morning, I’m always ready to crash by like 12pm.  However, if you don’t have the time to cook breakfast because you don’t want to wake up 2 hours early, you can always meal prep breakfast.  Meal prep breakfast? Strange right? HAHA, I found a meal prep breakfast online once and I thought it was a pretty good meal: potatoes, scrambled eggs, tomatoes and shredded cheese! However, I wouldn’t meal prep my breakfast for the week, maybe two days at a time.

6. Make Your Bed. Duh, right? I don’t make my bed everyday, but when I do it’s like something I’ve accomplished off of my to-do list.  It also reassures me to not get back into the bed and that I must begin my day, lol.

7. Don’t Check Social Media/E-mail.  First thing you do when you wake up is check IG and Twitter. You start off on a person you actually know page and then BAM, two hours later you’re deep onto someone you have never met and probably will never meet pages.  Same with e-mail.  You check your e-mail and you get frustrated by something or intrigued by an e-mail and now you’re completely off track.  Avoid checking your phone altogether so that you can get thing done.

8. Do something that’s on your vision board. You’re trying to get into graduate school? Study some pages from the GRE/GMAT book or write that personal statement.  Your goal is read so many books in the new year? Read a chapter or two from your current book.  Your goal is to lose weight? Work-out.  Your goal is to spend more time with family and friends? Plan a breakfast date in the morning with them.

I’m Okay with Not Getting Married

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Back in February, I went home for my parents 50th birthday celebration.  While we were at the venue setting up, my father and I were talking about his eating habits and health.  He went on a rant about how he’s trying to overall live a healthier life as he wants to see his grandkids grow up and see me get married. It didn’t dawn on me until a couple of days later that my father is looking forward to seeing me get married, however I have come to the realization that I may not want to get married and I am okay with that.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against getting married and if I fall in love with a man who wants to eventually marry me, I’m open to it, but what I am saying is that, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t stress out about it, I won’t complain and be one of those women who’s always nagging about never getting married, but instead I’ll continue to live a long healthy life.  I think too often women get caught up in this life of, I’m supposed to go to college, graduate, get a job, find a man, get married and have kids and I don’t believe that.  I believe that I am supposed to live and to live my best fucking life and whatever I encounter on that journey, whether it’s a bomb ass job, a man or a child then good.

My parents got married at 22.  Can you guys believe it? Twenty-2.  At 22, I had just gotten out of one situationship and was heading into another situationship.  At 22, I was stressing because I had just found out I was graduating an entire semester earlier than planned.  At 22, I was trying what the fuck I was about to do with my life after May 14th at 9:30am and Gary Ransdell, WKU previous President called my name to receive my paper diploma.  At 22, I was trying to figure out what internship was I going to get after I did walk because I had one more class left before I could officially be a college graduate.  At 22, I was not thinking about a fucking marriage.  My parents had me at 25.  I recently turned 25 last month and at 25, I can’t financially support myself, so I definitely couldn’t financially support another life.  At 25, I’m still lost as fuck as to what I want to do in life.  At 25, I’m slightly lost, stressed and depressed.

I haven’t been in a relationship that held a quote, unquote title of boyfriend and girlfriend since 2012.  I haven’t been in a successful yet unnecessarily long situationship since 2014.  It’s 2018.  I haven’t been in love or felt wanted by a man in four years and I’ve learned a lot about myself.  To include the fact that I am okay with not getting married.  I’m also okay with not having kids.  However, if and when I meet a man that I’m in love with and we decide to get married, than baby I’m all for it! And if he wants to have kids, of course I am going to give that man some kids.  But I won’t cry or be hurt if I don’t either or.  When I was younger, I had a plan of what my life was “supposed” to look like.  Married by 23, first kid by 25 and a second by 28.  So much for that plan. I think my focus right now is mainly on getting myself together financially, physically, mentally and most importantly, spiritually.  Once I get all of that in order, thinking about marriage and kids will come into play.

xoxo

Jas ❤

 

When I was 22 I dated a man 15 years older than me

Yes, you read the title of this article correctly.  When I was 22, I dated a man that was 37.  Here’s how we met.  After graduating college, I move back home to Memphis.  I had two part-time jobs at the time, one at the University of Memphis Bookstore and the other at JCPenney’s.  He too, had two jobs.  A full-time job and a part-time job at JCPenney’s.  I worked in the shoe department and he worked in the children’s department which was right by each other.  Now when I first saw this man, I thought he was a cool 27 (that’s that black don’t crack, baby).  But to try to make a long story short, we started “talking” two months after I had started.  One night after work, it was raining and I let him walk with me under my umbrella to our cars and as a thank you, he bought me a $25 (yes, my guy spent a cool $25 on me without even knowing me) Starbucks gift card.  Maybe a week later, we went on a lunch date.  After our date and as we were on our way back to work, I asked him how old he was and he told me to guess.  I guessed, “Late 20’s or early 30’s.” and that’s when he hit with the, “No, I’m 37.” As you can imagine, I was shooketh, but I was interested.

There’s nothing I regret about dating him and I actually learned a couple of things from dating him.

It’s better to start off as friends. One thing he kept saying to me was, “We’re friends right.” I remember being so offended by the fact that he called us friends and not, I’m not sure what the proper term would have been because we weren’t official.  But by him calling me his “friend,” I realized in order to be successful in a relationship, you must first start off as friends.  You get to know each other better

I liked going on dates. Before him, I don’t think I’d really been out on a date.  Most of the guys I entertained, we’d only see the four walls of my bedroom or theirs or each other’s living room.  Rarely did we do something fun like dinner, movies, or something in the local area.  However with this guy, we went on multiple dates.  The first two dates were a little awk (he would sit next to me as opposed to on the opposite side of me in which I later realized I liked) but after that I started to open up to him a lot and I enjoyed sitting down, talking to him and getting to know and vice versa.

Communication is Key.  I definitely learned how to communicate and to communicate effectively. I was never and still am not a big phone talker, however he would call me EVERY night to talk on the phone.  Along with communication, I learned how to reach out to him via phone first.  Granted I didn’t do it a lot, I had definitely stepped out my comfort zone and did.  Whenever we had a problem or issue, he would want to talk about it to resolve.  We had a couple yelling matches and a couple of sit downs in the car on different issues we had.

Ask questions.  One of our date nights, that went so well, ended badly.  We were at a Mexican restaurant and I shit y’all not, his ex-wife just so happened to be at the same restaurant at the same time on the same night.  WILD right? Come to find out, he had an ex-wife who he’d been with for a long time and married to for a long time.  He had two kids, one with the ex-wife and well, one not with the ex-wife, hence the divorce.  Now, I knew beforehand that he had one son and that was only because I had heard him talking to a customer before we even started talking about his son.  He basically told me, that he never told me he had kids because I never asked…

It was difficult dating an older man while living with my parents. Pretty much sums this up.  There would be time where he’d want me to stay the night with him, but I was about 99.9% positive that wouldn’t have be cool with my father.  I remember, I had to tell my parents I was doing one thing when I was really hanging out with him at 1 in the morning (sorry Dad/Mom if you’re reading this).  But it was very frustrating for him, because that night he actually wanted me to stay with him, especially since it was his birthday and he felt like I was too grown to be lying to my parents.

He was very confident in himself.  It wasn’t the arrogant, cocky type of confident, but the I’ve been here, done that and I know what I’m doing, sexy type of confident.  He knew I was attracted to him and he knew what to do to make me want him more than what I already did so effortless.

Jealousy didn’t exist.  When I tell y’all this man never got jealous, he never got jealous.  It was like he knew I was his (even though not officially) and that he was not worried about any other man.  I remember we were out eating and another guy kept staring at me, but he didn’t make a big deal about it.  Not an insecure bone in his body.

Obviously, he and I did not last, which ultimately brings me to my last point.  Ghosting exist no matter what age you are.  He basically ghosted me for about a month before calling me and trying to have a “conversation” about where our relationship was going.  We talked for about 10 minutes and he hung up on me.  Called me back about 30 minutes, I missed it and when I called back he didn’t answer.  I hadn’t heard from him again until 4 months later.  Typical fuck guy shit.  I don’t regret talking and pursuing him.  I learned a lot about older men.  Would I ever date someone that much older than me again? Possibly, I mean if Chadwick Boseman ever gave me a chance…you better your ass I would, but for now I think I’ll stick to someone who is 10 years or less older than myself.

Job Hopping

Indeed, LinkedIn and Glassdoor are probably the top three sites I stroll through the most.  More than Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  I wake up and religiously look at any new jobs that are currently available in the Greater Nashville Area.  I have no idea why I do this but I do.  Even when I’ve only been at a job for a week.  While in LA, I probably applied to over 100 or so jobs.  I liked both of my jobs, but I think I kept searching and searching because I was in contract roles and I wanted a full-time job with benefits.  In my current role, I also stroll through jobs like crazy.  But now it’s different, I’ve been strolling through jobs because I am ready for the next step in my career.  Currently I am a Talent Acquisition Coordinator and the next step is a Talent Acquisition Specialist, also known as a Recruiter.  I also consistently stroll through these job sites because I want a job that pays more than what I’m getting paid now.

However, doing this looks extremely bad, especially when I haven’t been at said companies for a long time.  I’ve been in my current position now for about 6 months, but a couple of months when I started applying to other jobs, I’d only been in the role for 2-4 months.  A question that often comes up is, “Why are you looking for a new role?” or my application would get rejected before a recruiter would call me because I’ve only been in my current role for a short period of time, obvisouly they’re thinking, well if she’s only been in that role for 2 months and is looking for something new, she’s going to do the same thing once she starts working here.

Right after I accepted my position with my current company, a recruiter had reached out to me on LinkedIn about how there’s an opportunity that she’d like to talk to me about in my area, etc., etc., etc., but I told her that I had just accepted a new position.  Well fast forward to four months later and I’d reached back out to her on LinkedIn and asked her if we could just have a phone conversation about my my career aspirations, necessary steps I needed to take to get there and just overall advice.  We scheduled a phone conversation and she basically told me to stick it out with my company for at least a year.  Don’t put in job applications in other place and to only consider leaving my current company if an other company reached out to me for a full-time role in exactly what I want to do in life.  In a year, hopefully a role in what I want to do in my career field will open at my current company and if not, at least I have that longevity on my resume for my current company.  She told me keywords to look for when that time does come around to search.  It was a really good conversation.  I told her my issues and she just really had good advice overall.

So below, I have listed a couple of cons to think about if you’re a job hopper:

Think about what it’ll look to recruiters/hiring manager.  If you are at companies for a short period of time and are at your current company for a short period of time and are looking for a new job, it raises a flag to those people.  I remember I applied for a job once and the recruiter reached out to me with an e-mail asking, why I had been in my roles for only a short period of time.  I thought I had good answers for each, but obviously they weren’t good enough because she never reached back out to me.  The recruiter I reached out to on LinkedIn also made a valid point.  Two of my jobs were contract roles and although I have that stated on my resume and that would be an obvious reason as to why I stayed at my jobs for a short period of time, to a recruiter or hiring manager, it would then raise the question, “Well why do you keep only applying to contract positions?”

Seeking opportunities/advancement within your company.  Sometimes it’s not about the company, but rather your job title and duties that you have an issue with.  For me, I am bored of being in the Coordinator role.  I’ve done this for the last year and I think it’s time for me to move up.  However, as opposed to looking outside my company, I should be looking for opportunities within the company when that time comes.  It’ll look better and the chances are higher for you getting the job when you’re an internal candidate.  A lot of companies also welcome getting experience in different departments if that’s something that you desire.

It can hurt you financially.  A lot of times, hopping from job to job can hurt you financially.  You get your last paycheck from your most recent job, but than you may end up waiting up to three weeks before you can see a paycheck because of when you came in and started your first day.  If you don’t already have money saved up, you can be put into a financial burden.

Basically, I said all of this to say, if you’re in a position and you don’t like, try to stick it out for at least 6 months or if your resume is choppy, for a year.

How to Make Use of Your Time Commuting to and from Work

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You’re sitting in your car, driving to and from work, and your life is passing you by.  You hate the commute, but you have to do it time and time again, “Well maybe I’ll get a job closer to home or a work from home job.” no, learn how to make use of your time commuting to and from work.

A couple of months ago, I lived in Owensboro, KY and commuted an hour or so to Bowling Green, KY three out of five days a week and I had to figure out what to do in that time frame.

Listen to a podcast. Honestly, before this I had never listened to Podcast before in my life.  I found some dope ones, The Read and The Friend Zone.  I listened to a couple of others, but these were the two that kept me sane and interested, alive and alert on my commute.  Now that I live in Nashville and my commute is about 30 to 40 minutes to work, I still listen to these podcasts.

Catch up with a loved one. Call a friend or a family member that you haven’t talked to in a while and see what they’re up too!

Discover new music. Put on a random playlist from Spotify or Apple Music that you’ve never listened to or that may have artists that you’d usually never listen too! You may discover some gems!

Find a different route to work.  I know we like to stick to the usual and not try anything new, especially when it comes to driving! When I first moved to Nashville and I was still finding my way to my job from my house, my GPS took me three different routes, three different days in a row to work.  It was refreshing because I got a different scene and depending on the day, one route was faster than the other.

Brainstorm.  Sit in silence in the car and think about all the things you need to do or want to do.  This could possibly be one of the best times to do something like this! You have no distraction, besides the other cars but there is minimum noise and no one to talk to you and interrupt your thoughts.

What are some things that you do to make use of your time commuting to and from work?

xoxo

Jas ❤