Hey BOSS ladies! My name is Annalise Zink 🙂 I am a new blogger around here and I am so excited to be sharing some of my thoughts with you all! To summarize me in one sentence…I am a joyful, free-spirited, coffee, animal, and fashion lover. Alright enough about me. Let’s dive into the anxiety talk.
Anxiety is something I have dealt with for years. Feeling anxious about everything under the sun really took control of my life. When I dig down to the heart of the matter, the real root and cause of the anxiety was FEAR. Fear of the future. Fear of not being loved. Fear of not being beautiful. Fear of not being successful. Fear of disappointing my parents. Fear of what others think of me. All of these fears started to control my life.
Meditation was always something that intimidated me. I didn’t understand it. I thought it was only for people practicing certain religions. I thought there was one specific way of meditating…sitting on the floor, criss-cross apple sauce, with your hands resting on your knees in the shape of an “ok” sign, eyes closed saying “hummmm”. During my first year of college, I learned that this was certainly not the case! YAY! Meditation comes in many forms. The point of meditation is to simply clear/ free your mind. So whether that is listening to music, praying, drawing, sitting quietly…it all counts! When I started seeking help about anxiety, I was encouraged to meditate. The way I started meditating was by sitting with my eyes closed, listening to instrumental songs, or I would pray (I’m a Christian:) As I regularly started giving myself this peaceful quiet time, the less anxious I began to feel about everything in my life. I started feeling more at rest. Giving myself time breath into every inch of my body helped to set my mind free which allowed me to give up trying to control my life. I encourage you to try. Do what feels comfortable to you and trust me your heart and mind will be set free.
Journaling- Getting to the ROOT of the Matter
I think anxiety is a ripple effect. There is always something deeper going on that causes us to feel anxious. That heart of the matter is usually buried so deep that we don’t even think there is an underlying issue. I was never really a journaling person until my senior year of high school when my anxiety was bad. I knew there was something deeper there that was the seed to all the growing anxiety. But what was it?! I couldn’t figure it out, so that is when I started writing it down on paper. I wrote down my thoughts, feelings, words that came to mind, interactions with others…anything. And with that came this clear picture of what the heart of the matter was. It was like the Claritin commercials when suddenly everything gets clear. I don’t know how it did, but with careful journaling, I saw the big picture. This led to freedom from my anxiety.
Setting Goals that are in Reach
Reaching goals is so important. When you set a goal and achieve it, you gain this confidence and self-assurance that you just can’t find anywhere else. You are basically affirmed that “You did it.” But when you set a goal and don’t reach it…it hurts. Badly. This is something I struggled with very much and flammed up my anxiety. I tend to push myself too hard. I expect way too much of myself because I feel like I need to prove something to the world. So I push and push and push. I need to make this much money, get this certain grade, lose this much weight, get this internship… and so on. Now many of these goals are great things to reach for. But when I am trying to achieve them all at once, it’s impossible, and I crumble to pieces. If one goal doesn’t get met, I lose confidence, feel like I need to control everything, and feel like I am a failure. That is when a friend helped me realize that I was setting myself up to fail. Because I couldn’t do it all at once. I needed to stop being so hard on myself, and start setting reachable goals. Simplifying. My life changes. When 2019 hit, I threw away my original resolution. I created a simple one. I looked at the things I really wanted to achieve, things that would help me grow and make me happy. I set goals I KNEW I could reach. I spaced them out. Everything changed. I started reaching my goals one step at a time. This led to me gaining back my self- confidence and it also allowed me to see what things are really important for me to achieve. I encourage you to look at your goals. Are you pushing yourself too hard? Setting goals that are just not realistic. I am not telling you to not reach for the stars…because YOU SHOULD! But be kind to yourself. Take baby steps…you will get so much farther. I promise.