Some of us can relate to having that same best friend for just about our entire lives. Growing up in the same school, same friends, same hobbies, same sports. At some point though, we begin to grow into our own individual selves and this can create tension or a disconnect. Typically it happens around the college years when we are meeting new friends after new friends and really beginning to decide who we want to be.
Outgrowing a friendship is almost natural in most cases. If two people can’t see eye to eye on pretty much anything, it’s safe to say you’d be better off without them.
1. You Stop Making Time for Each Other
In college especially, it is isn’t selfish to put yourself first. These are supposed to be the best 4 years of your life, whether it’s academically, spiritually, or physically. These 4 years shape the person you’re going to become through the various experiences you allow yourself to have. If a friend is constantly holding you back or guilt tripping you because they don’t have the same interests, it may be time to distance yourself. Perspective is key in these situations. If you know in your heart that you are doing what you love and feel good about, then they should respect that and vice versa.
2. Communication Becomes Short
Long distance friendships can either be a blessing or a curse. You either can’t wait for their daily tea, or get sick of the constant drama and mass texts. The latter is okay, too! While most of us have our phones attached to the hip, it doesn’t mean we are always up for texting and FaceTime. Sure, face to face conversation is better and you’d love to visit your girlfriend at her college, but life gets in the way sometimes. If you truly find yourself uninterested in their conversation and can’t relate, it may be time to address it.
3. Friday Nights Aren’t The Same
A typical Friday night can be seen as partying until dawn, or passing out to Crazy Rich Asians with your hand in the popcorn bag and empty wine bottles. We can’t expect our friends to always be on the same pace as us. We have different lives, different classes, and different priorities. We can’t always rely on our friends because at the end of the day, they are facing their own struggles and trying to make a life for themselves.
4. They Stop Supporting the New You
In college, you are bound to go through changes- physically, mentally, emotionally. You are on your own for the first time and you begin to find yourself. If your bestie isn’t on board with your new crew and starts to become jealous, it may be time to let them go. Friends support each other and allow each other to grow just like in any relationship. Having a best friend that makes fun of your others does not count as support. If they can’t handle you growing out of your shell, then they don’t want what’s best for YOU.