Back in February, I went home for my parents 50th birthday celebration. While we were at the venue setting up, my father and I were talking about his eating habits and health. He went on a rant about how he’s trying to overall live a healthier life as he wants to see his grandkids grow up and see me get married. It didn’t dawn on me until a couple of days later that my father is looking forward to seeing me get married, however I have come to the realization that I may not want to get married and I am okay with that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against getting married and if I fall in love with a man who wants to eventually marry me, I’m open to it, but what I am saying is that, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t stress out about it, I won’t complain and be one of those women who’s always nagging about never getting married, but instead I’ll continue to live a long healthy life. I think too often women get caught up in this life of, I’m supposed to go to college, graduate, get a job, find a man, get married and have kids and I don’t believe that. I believe that I am supposed to live and to live my best fucking life and whatever I encounter on that journey, whether it’s a bomb ass job, a man or a child then good.
My parents got married at 22. Can you guys believe it? Twenty-2. At 22, I had just gotten out of one situationship and was heading into another situationship. At 22, I was stressing because I had just found out I was graduating an entire semester earlier than planned. At 22, I was trying what the fuck I was about to do with my life after May 14th at 9:30am and Gary Ransdell, WKU previous President called my name to receive my paper diploma. At 22, I was trying to figure out what internship was I going to get after I did walk because I had one more class left before I could officially be a college graduate. At 22, I was not thinking about a fucking marriage. My parents had me at 25. I recently turned 25 last month and at 25, I can’t financially support myself, so I definitely couldn’t financially support another life. At 25, I’m still lost as fuck as to what I want to do in life. At 25, I’m slightly lost, stressed and depressed.
I haven’t been in a relationship that held a quote, unquote title of boyfriend and girlfriend since 2012. I haven’t been in a successful yet unnecessarily long situationship since 2014. It’s 2018. I haven’t been in love or felt wanted by a man in four years and I’ve learned a lot about myself. To include the fact that I am okay with not getting married. I’m also okay with not having kids. However, if and when I meet a man that I’m in love with and we decide to get married, than baby I’m all for it! And if he wants to have kids, of course I am going to give that man some kids. But I won’t cry or be hurt if I don’t either or. When I was younger, I had a plan of what my life was “supposed” to look like. Married by 23, first kid by 25 and a second by 28. So much for that plan. I think my focus right now is mainly on getting myself together financially, physically, mentally and most importantly, spiritually. Once I get all of that in order, thinking about marriage and kids will come into play.