James St. Patrick

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According to urbandictionary.com, ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.  This is done in hopes that the ghost will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.

Have you ever been ghosted and/or ghosted someone? If so, why? What would have done differently? What was the outcome?

I have ghosted a couple of people before, but I have only been ghosted once so I’ll start with how I’ve been ghosted before story. Back in 2014, I was talking to this guy from March to October. To make an extremely long story, short. I was not the only girl he was talking to. He was talking to a couple of other girls, but he had a main girl that he really liked and than there was me the side girl that he really liked as well. One random as weekend in September, I remember we were having a conversation and he randomly just stopped texting me in the middle of conversation. I remember I text him the next day about two times and then the following day another couple of times and literally got nothing in return. I felt a little stupid, but when you like someone and you want it, you fight for it right? Anyway, a couple of days pass by and I still hadn’t heard from him so I text him again and I simply said, “Hey.” And this nigga had the audacity to text me back and be like, “What’s up?” Like he ain’t just ignore me for the past week. I basically text him back asking what was up and why he hadn’t been talking to me and he text me back and said, “I’m going through some things and just want to be left alone.” I think until this day, that text has stung the worst out of all of the text messages I have ever received.  It’s finally because a week later after not talking or seeing each other, I saw him at a party and we like had this moment of “Damn I miss you” and we hugged for a minute and we started talking again for about two weeks before the nigga ghosted me yet AGAIN. After he ghosted me, I really wanted some answers as to what was going on and why he was ghosting me and how we ended up in this position in the first place.  I’m crazy and still don’t know why I did this until this day, however the girl that was like his “main” girl, we followed each other on Instagram and I DM’d her and was like, “Hey, here’s my number. Text me.” She texted me immediately and I literally was like, “Can we meet up and talk. I know there are some things that you have questions about and there are some things that I have questions about.” We literally met up about two hours later and had an hour long conversation about him and her and him and I. Basically, he wanted to leave me alone but didn’t know how too because he genuinely had feelings for me and the only way he knew how to was to ignore my ass. After talking to her and her telling me that she had been telling him that he needs to leave me alone or else she was going to call me and tell me wtf was going on. I thought back on it and was thinking about how he’d text me several times to tell me that “he had something to tell” but everything I would ask what it was, he simply say, “Nevermind” or “You’re not ready, so I’ll tell you a different time.”

After talking with the girl and realizing that I was being played the entire time and the fact that, this guy who I had been involved with for 8 months and began to gain feelings couldn’t give me the common courtesy of telling me that he no longer wanted to talk to me, really hurt. I feel like if you don’t want to talk to someone anymore, than let it be known.

There’s been plenty of times where I have completely ghosted guys who’ve wanted a relationship with me.  They’ll be texting me and I just won’t reply back and they’ll consistently text me and I just won’t reply until they get the hint that hey maybe this girl no onger wants to talk to me.

The most recent story I have is there was this guy who I “talked” simply because I was bored and needed some entertainment. I knew that I would never let it get anywhere and once I realized that he started to like me, I ghosted him.  Basically over a span of a month, we probably talked consecutively for about 5 days and all together for about two weeks.  But the end came when he would text me and be like, “I got us!” Like my guy, we just started communicating, have never talked in person or talked on the phone, why are you this way? Simmer down young man.  We hadn’t talked in a couple of days and he text me, I think maybe wyd or what’s up  or something in that nature.  Basically, I ignored the text. I posted a story to my Instagram and was on twitter, tweeting.  That evening, he called me and as usual, my phone was on Do No Disturb mode, but I think he took it as I rejected his phone.  Immediately after he called me, he sent a text that said, “So You Ignoring Me Now?” I waited about an hour before I text back and said “No.” He text back and said, “So what’s the problem?” and before I could even read the text message, he immediately followed up with another text that said, “Don’t worry about. Just text me whenever you’re ready to talk.” And I never text him back after that. LOL.

Looking back on it, I should have just been upfront about it and told him that I did not want anything to come from it, because later on down the road he ended up texting me again and saying he wanted to pick back up where we left off, needless to say, we did not do that.  I think ghosting someone is childish when it’s done to me, because I rather you be upfront with me, instead of leading me on or leaving me with a bunch of why questions, but in the same breathe, I rather ghost someone because I like to avoid confrontation and think it’s easier to cease communication in hopes that someone with get the hint and if they don’t get the hint, the block button comes in handy quite often.

Have you ever ghosted someone? Has someone ghosted you? Tell me your story. Do you think it was worth it? How did you feel afterwards?

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