Leaving the Past in the Past

We all have that one ex that we still talk too months and years after the break-up no mater how amicable and/or hostile it ended.  Sometimes it leads back to you two getting back together for the better(or for the worst) or just the two of you becoming really good friends.  But regardless of what the past may or may not bring to the future, sometimes it’s just better to leave the past in the past and I am a walking testimony of this.

My ex and I “talked” for 10 months before we made it official.  We “officially dated” for three months before we called it quits.  About 7 months later, he decided to creep back into my life, and of course, like the young, dumb, and in love person that I was, I decided to let him back in, only for him to do the same thing we originally broke up for in the first place.  This time, 9 months went by before he “hit me up” again.  At this time, I was involved with someone and I knew I no longer wanted to be with my ex, but I welcomed him back into my life as a friend.  He came to visit in that same year as he passed through my city and I even let him spend the night with me, but it never got anywhere seriously.  Anytime after that, that we talked it would be on his terms, whenever he would hit me up.  He basically, would hit me up to see if he still had a shot with me and once realized that I wasn’t going to give him a chance, stop talking to me for 6 months because he had gotten into a relationship with someone and then it didn’t work and so he would try to hit me up again.  Most recently, he’s told me that he still has a crush on me and thinks he will always have a crush on me.  He’s even put on the table for him to come out to California to come visit and I accepted.  But a couple days after me accepting his offer, I saw a picture on Snapchat of him and his girlfriend and it was at that moment, that I realized he is toxic and I needed to leave the past in the past for the better.

I realized that I have outgrown him a lot and no longer shared those same feelings that I once had for him.  It’s been 4 years since we were in an official relationship, it’s been 4 years since I told him “I loved him,” it’s been 4 years since I’ve found him physically attractive, and it’s been 4 years and I’ve been through a lot in relationship with guys that has made me realize he is not the guy I want in my future.

Reasons why I think leaving the past in the past is the best option:

  1. You never want to get complacent with your ex.  Sometimes, especially if you can’t seem to have a consistent guy in your life and/or even find a guy for that matter, you tend to go back to your ex because he is the only guy that will be consistent or the only guy that is blowing up your pone 24/7.
  2. He’s honestly not the guy for you.  He’s just the guy that’s your stepping stool for the next guy.  He’s teaching what not to tolerate and how to be a better woman for the next man.
  3. In my case, the same exact reason why you guys broke up the first time, could be the same reason why you guys break up the second and third and fourth and fifth time.
  4. You need to focus on you and making yourself a better you, for you and you can’t always do that with your nagging ex in your ear trying to get back with you.
  5. Leaving the past in the past gives you both space to grow individually and just maybe, in the far future you two can rekindle things and get back together and make it work for the better.


-Jas ❤

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