A lot of my friends have either been with their significant other for quite sometime now or are getting into serious relationships, but me, well urm, I’m just chilling you know until somebody randomly falls into my lap (also known as, being forever alone, lol)
Often times when I start talking to a new guy, they always say, “How can someone so pretty like you not have a boyfriend?” I’ve always replied with, “Because I’m crazy.” HA! A lot of people think that just because a person is attractive it automatically makes them in a relationship or apparently have all the hoes (I have neither, btw). Looks aren’t all the qualities a man and/or woman should look for in a significant other. What can you bring to the table? Can you stimulate my mind? Are you God-Fearing? What you got going for yourself? What you doing to progress to the next level? These are questions we should be asking about ourselves and in our partner.
My love life has been something like an emotional rollercoaster. I’ve had my fair share of unfortunate relationships/situationships and my fair share of good relationships/situationships. For the past 4 years, I’ve been single. I’ve dated plenty of guys within the past 4 years, but I think it was more so of finding my worth and who and what I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes it’s hard because you just want somebody to call your own and have standing in your corner.
Reasons I’m single:
- I’m trying to figure out my life. Everyday I wake up and I put in a new job application to a new job from Memphis to Los Angeles. If I don’t know where I will be working this time next week, I definitely shouldn’t bring anybody into the picture. It would be unfair of me to start talking to a guy in Memphis and I get a call back for a job in Texas and I have to move there. I’m still trying to figure me out and what’s going on in my life and it’s really hard to get yourself together when you have someone in your life who isn’t being of asset to you figuring your life out.
- I’m selfish. When it comes to a lot of things in life, I am incredibly selfish. When it comes to my money, I’m selfish. When it comes to sharing things that should be shared in a relationship, I’m selfish. Everyday I’m working on being more and more selfless, but until then… I will continue being single.
- I’m still thotting and enjoying my freedom. It’s incredibly annoying when I have to answer to a guy everyday. When you’re talking to someone, you have to text and/or talk to them on the phone everyday. Do y’all know that there are days that I just want to be left alone and not have to text you? I was texting this guy on a friendly level, but then it turned into him texting me everyday. For three days straight, he text me “Good morning” and even a second throughout the day when I didn’t reply back to his Good morning text. He later sent me a text message on snap, because I foolishly put up a snap forgetting that he follows me on there. He eventually hit me with the, “I’ve been texting you the past couple of days.” Sir, my phone is in my hand a good chunk of the day, I know that you text me, I just didn’t reply back to you. I am also at the age where I still like having options. I’m not completely ready to give me undivided attention to one and only one guy.
- I don’t think I’ve found my soulmate. I truly don’t feel like I’ve met the guy that I’m supposed to be with for a while or for the rest of my life. Clearly, or else I wouldn’t be single right now. It seems as if everyone around are getting engaged and married and are with the guy that they know that they will someday marry. Me, well, I guess I’m still on the path of finding my soulmate.
- Afraid of the thought of someone loving me. It’s really scary to think of someone loving me more than I love myself. Like how dare you love me in a way that a woman should be loved? It’s scary because they could love me more than I love them and not only that, but just thinking like, someone could love me and I hurt them or they hurt me. I don’t know.. It’s just scary being loved.
- Unhealthy attractions. Most people like to think that I have a certain type in a guy and that I also go for looks in guys. All the guys have all been the same in some kind of way, thus the reason behind me being single forever and ever.
- Fear of competition. When you’re starting off talking to someone, most times, they are probably talking to you, Becky, Barbara, and Shelia. You’re pretty much in competition with three others girls trying to win his heart. I don’t compete for no man, y’all. I don’t give a damn if it’s Chris Brown fine ass, I will not be out here competing with Ketchup and Rihanna. Nah, I just ain’t going to do it.
But don’t get me wrong, I’m a very happy single person and am enjoying the journey of singleness. I know that the man that I’m supposed to be with is out there somewhere, prayerfully working on his future and not on top of some hussy having sex. I also think he’s in Houston, TX somewhere honestly. But who knows.. Because I don’t.