“No one is in charge of your happiness, but you. Once you start living for yourself and making decision and doing things because you want to do them and not because of someone else, I promise life will get so much easier. And it’s crazy because it took me 23 years to learn that, but better late than never.” – Jasmine Hockaday
Growing up in life, I used to be one of those people who relied heavily on what others thought of me. I always felt that if I didn’t look a certain way, my peers would reject me. My ideal of beauty was so fucked up. I wanted long hair, a flat stomach, hips, and a fat ass. I wanted smaller feet, to be shorter, and have curly hair. There were so many things about myself that I wanted to change so that I could be that girl that all the niggas want and all the girls either want to be friends with or hate. Sometimes I sit and think, like why was my mindset that way?
I would often seek validation in the wrong way and from the wrong people. I thought if I had all the guys chasing after me, I was the shit. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and wrong way too. I thought if I put myself out there and had all the guys foundling over me, then that meant I was popping. Love truly starts wit yourself and if you don’t love yourself, then one one can love you because baby who can love you better than you?
It wasn’t until the summer before junior year of college where I really felt comfortable in my skin. I was starting to lose weight, had not men in life to seeking validation from, I had gotten a new job, and my own apartment with my best friends. Of course the hype from it all started to dwindling down and I was lost all over again with loving myself for me and who I am.
It wasn’t until my second semester of senior year that I truly felt comfortable in my skin and with who I was as a person. I know longer cared to fit with what my peers thought of me and my decisions. I was getting ready to graduate from college and none of them where going to land me the next big job that I wanted or get me into graduate school. I felt like I had focused so much of my attention on what others thought, instead of thinking about what I thought of myself that I missed out a couple of great years I could have had to myself.
So what do you want to be, and what do you want to have in your life? Do you want to be well-dressed, outspoken, brave and spontaneous? […] It’s never to late to start! All you need to do is make a choice, and then start living in that direction! It may take time for all the pieces to fall in place, but even that isn’t necessarily true. You can date anyone, do whatever you want for work, live in any city which takes your fancy, and dress however you like. All it takes is a decision and some conscious action
Do more of what you love and what you want to do as opposed to trying to please or impress everyone around you. Life will probably be 10xs better once you start doing so.