Like most people, when we were young we always said, “I can’t wait until I turn 18 so I can move out.” We mainly said that because our parents did something to piss us off, not knowing that one day we might actually regret the day that we leave our parents’ house.
When most people leave, it’s because they are going off to college or off to basic training. If you’re like me, I spent my first two years of college living in the dorm room, so I was kind of on my own, but I kind of wasn’t and my last two years of college, I got an apartment with my two best friends and I was really on my own then. When I graduated I had plans of moving to Nashville, but reality hit that I couldn’t financially afford moving to Nashville especially with the pay of the jobs that I had gotten in Nashville. The next best thing for me to do was to move back home with parents.
When I say that moving back home is probably one of the hardest things you could ever do, it is one of the hardest things you could ever do. You get so used to living on your own and doing things your way, but when you move back home, you have to follow by your parents rules and do as they say. One of the things I struggled with and still struggle with is letting my parents know my every move. Whenever I leave the house, my parents want to know where I’m going. If I get off work and decide to not go home right away, my parents want to know where I’m going. When I go out on a date, they want to know the guy’s name, kind of car he drives, what he looks like, social security number, who he dated when he was 12, etc. It’s just difficult because I never had to do all of those things when I was on my own. I may have told my roommates, like hey, “I have a date with so and so and we’re going to such and such,” but most times that was by choice. They didn’t force that out of me or get mad if I didn’t tell them.
While living with my two roommates, we had an every man for himself motto. We all both our own food, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, cleaned our own dishes; heck we even paid our own rent, lol. She you can imagine if I have had that mentality for the past two years, when I moved back home it still stuck with me. My mom wouldn’t necessarily get angry or say anything at the moment, but later on after the fact she would throw in my face how I only buy food for me and that only I eat instead of buying food for the entire household. She would also complain about me not cleaning the dishes (because lord knows I’m not about to lay a finger on those dishes if I haven’t even stepped into the kitchen for a good week).
Oh, and let’s not forget the day my mom asked me for $25 a month to help pay for laundry detergent and tissue. I think I about lost my mind when she asked for a simple, TWENTY-FIVE dollars, y’all. I was like girl this is your house, not mine, you provide all of that for yourself, but then I had a coming to jesus moment and realized how selfish of me that was to even get mad at her for asking me for $25 a month. Lol, I was like man I rather pay $25 a month as opposed to $400 plus a month for rent and besides I did have to wash and I use more tissue than most people change their underwear, lol. Needless to say pitching in a little month here and there and or picking up some milk and orange juice when you see there is none in the refrigerator isn’t as bad as you think.
A good mindset to have when moving back in with your parents is moving in with a plan to move out. If you have a plan set in motion, the more likely and sooner you are to move back out of your parents’ home. As I was moping and sad while packing up my apartment and loading the boxes into my car thinking about how I was really about to move back in with parents, I also thought about how this is only temporary. I had plans of only moving back home for a year and getting the heck of there. It hasn’t been a full year yet, but honey best believe come August of 2016, I’ll be riding back and forth from my parents’ house to my new apartment in a U-Haul truck.
The main keys to success (in my best DJ Khaled voice) when moving back in with your parents are to:
- Give yourself a Time Limit
- Realize that this is a minor setback for a major comeback
- Pitch in a couple bucks once a month for groceries and/or anything else needed for the house
- Respect their Home
- Abide by their rules, but also set some rules for yourself that you both can agree on